Christmas Past

2016 tree concept

2016 gift wrap scheme

I think many have complicated feelings about the winter holidays. I know I do. I live for the holiday season: the brisk temperatures, extended time off, the excuse for baked goods, the festive lights and mulled wine and fair isle sweaters. But. Like with any highly anticipated thing that comes packaged with high expectations, the holidays generally find me sinking into a state of thwarted perfectionism. The decor must be photogenic, the gift choices flawlessly suited to recipient, the party conversation sparkling and interesting, the family movie choices a hit with every single person present. 2020 has amplified that questioning & anxiety.

How did I manage to gain so much weight this season? Did I do enough this year? I’m another year older - but what do I have to show for it? And with it all: feelings of guilt for being a wet blanket during the holidays when everyone else is already wrestling with their questions too, and trying not to show it.

At the end of a weird year, the questioning and the thwarted perfectionism are weirder too, and likely not improved by spending the season in isolation. To those of us who have complicated feelings and experience complicated holidays: You’re doing great. Happy Christmas, and may better times lie ahead.

Holiday 2016 Photo Diary

I hear these teddy bears are over 25 years old.

Tulle and craft paper gift wrap.

Christmas carol rehearsals.

Every year after college, Christmas has been a capital-p Production - thanks in large part to my boyfriend's family, who are fiercely festive beginning several weeks before Thanksgiving and stretching juuuuust past the New Year.

For starters, every year the gift wrap scheme is a little different. Oh, we plan that stuff. We browse Pinterest boards and hunt through Target shelves and come up with the perfect paper-ribbon-tag combination that is equal parts practical and ornamental.

This year we indulged an undeniable flair for the dramatic and wrapped packages in tulle, which has such visual volume & presence that I don't think we'll be going back to ribbon.

And speaking of ribbon - that's how we exploded red plaid all over the tree.

I needed the help of approximately 3 million treats to capture this picture.

The wildly pretentious but also wildly beautiful Artifact Uprising print services packaging. 

Part 2 of the Production is a party featuring endless trays of cheesy cornflake-topped potatoes and the smallest barbecue sausages known to man - family & friends literally spend the entire year waiting for both. 

Somewhere in there we fit in a Christmas train set (it's exactly what it sounds like) & presents invariably get unwrapped several days early as some people decide they can no longer wait.

Next year's challenge to self: More plaid. More tulle. More time. More denial when the season ends.